Monday, April 27, 2009

L.O.V.E.




















It's better to feel many types of sadness then coming to a home that's EMPTY. =) My family ROOOCCCCCKKKKKSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/

Friday, April 24, 2009

who am i kidding =)

bah. hannah. if u can't & won't let urself pour out anything, then dammit stop wasting ur damn time!!!

pardon my mood swings yah. besala. xena the warrior princess. @_@

i'm not supposed to be awake right now, i have to wake up early to go jogging with my sayang2Ku at taman likas tomorow. ahh well, i'll still wake up early tomorow nonetheless, so it matters not :D

*kenapa...ayat ku...begini?*

at times, i do act HUMAN & feel that i am unable to suppress or pretend nothing is happening to me internally. there i was trying to write another ludicrous post about my silly self & trying to cheer myself up while joking & saying stuff dat'll make people laugh. hahh. like i said, who am i kidding?

aaaaaiiiiii..fil laik ai don hev tu opolojais for biying imo. it is my blog aint it.

*another symptom of mine...Paranoid*

im sure people sometimes feel like they half wanted to say something, & also not wanting to let people in & know what's bothering them, & thus they end up complaining about.......absolutely NOTHING at all. =D sorry baaaaaaaaaaah. gini la ba kerja aku kalau blogging. nda paedah2 miahahahaha.

so i can't make a funny post bout my imperfections for now & laughing hard at it & feeling relieved & believing that i am contempt. FOR NOW tho. =D =D =D =D =D

i need to just accept this for the moment & not let anything spoil it. i think im gonna have a good sleep tonight & dream about the beautiful day i had today ^________________^

*sounds a tad too sickly & sweet for a moment there @_@*

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

yippee

WAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







i can't stand this. i am so not comprehended right now, i'm like a foreign language to some people. im confusing. im baffling.











WEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!











im losing my mind here. urgh.













ok i whine. BITE ME.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

probably drank too much coffee

=D




padan muka. neeeeehhh.






tehee~ i dont know what to do with myself~ JENG JENG!!! dunnooo what to doooo with myseeeelf jeng jeng!! aaaAAAaaaaAAAA.....

Monday, April 20, 2009

hear me ROAR

my head was touched by a 210 Celsius steel. HOT. so horizontally, i have burns on my head that looks like a bunch of booger stickers stacking on the left side of my nagen. pretty? i think NOT. so i went to a store yesterday, somewhere near my place, and opposite the stationary & printing shop, 5 blocks away from the pasar inanam, a few steps ahead from the lady that sells corn in cup (oh yummy), just around the corner of fei fei workshop, beside the store that i actually went, is a restaurant with an open bathroom. open = platforms of wood, place them in a cubic kind of shape, tada! a toilet. it doesn't even need a door. ew. it was just inches from the tables...that...u....actually.....eat....on. wow.

i......am an artist. i love art. everything i do is about art. art is me, & i am art. art is in my veins. art art art art. ART! from fARTing to watching bART simpsons, i savy art. i think, this particular word, is being vandalized. who wants to send me to jail?

KUIH SAPIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna go to papar & buy me some original kuih sapit. & kuih kelapa. oh nyaman. tolong la. TOLONG LA!

*these few lines have been deleted by me for bowling reasons. i am not a grasshopper*

so, this dude says, "i'm going to asia!!! YEAAAAAHHH!!!!!" this other dude says, "cool! get me aishwarya rai's autograph or something will ya?" and then he replies, "what? you stupid? that's in India." so the other dude says, "yeah, ur going to asia right? that's why i..." the other dude butts in, "no man, i'm going to ASIA. i wanna watch kung fu pow pow POW!" thus, the dude can only say, ".................................................................." hahh. aint we lucky?

oh dear. i feel so scatterbrained right now, i actually feel like a roadkill. u know, when them chickens & what not running amock when cars are here and there. then *SCCRRRAAAAAAAAPPPEEEEEE* hah. yah.

pardon me. i dont like being angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bida ni ba rasa dia. emo2. ish. yuck. ptui. i spit at you.

i'll.....shut up now.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

sweet & simple

  1. cousin's house
  2. interview went ok
  3. forgot wallet, left penniless
  4. last person on mind to show up & picked me up
  5. the irony
  6. home
  7. slept
  8. dreamed
  9. woke up
  10. thoughts
  11. ......
  12. ........
  13. ........
  14. ......
  15. .......
  16. ........
  17. .......
  18. ...........................................................
  19. f*ck. i've been used.




thank u.

































kenapa bah. muka aku kena cop apa oh?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

great.....now i have to choose between two again

Both are decent choices. Either two of them are fine; one's far away, one's right here in kk. One's ready to accept me, one's still undetermined. This one is in kk. The "judgement" day is tomorow. I don't even know what to say yet @_@

I want both of them! Of course, not only is it impossible, it's ridiculous :P Nothing good comes from being greedy. Don't forget that hannah.

It's still doesn't change the fact though, that I have to somehow let go of one. It's gonna take a toll on my conscience. I can feel it T_T I'll be feeling all guilty & whiny & complain-ny & everything-y. Argh. I hate choosing! =(

I want the one in kk but what if I'm not wanted? If I take the one that's far away, the DISTANCE man...I'm not kidding. FAR.

I guess I have to make a wise choice. That seems somewhat unlikely of the infamous hannah the childish nerd. But I have to try because I might end up losing both. Which is much worse. I need a little guidance & probably more advices from my VIPs. People, I need you T_T

Oh yeah, I'm talking bout job offers here by the way. Forgot to mention that. Tomorow's the interview with Imperial Hotel (kk). Whoopsie~

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Pucker Up!


MWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

As normal human beings, we all have insecurities. Imperfections in every one of us indicates that we are mere God's creation, nothing more. To live, we can all try to overcome our insecurities; be it going for soul-healing sessions or to alter our imperfections. And make them beautiful in our own eyes. *sigh* These ladies, unfortunately, made themselves looking 10 times worst than what they already were. Astagaaaaaaa. Serious. Keep scrolling.



Silicon lips. Who's to blame? Yes, us women have every right to make ourselves pleasing in the eyes; but I think there is a limit to where these beautifying procedures can be too much. Right? A sky-rocketing profit for the surgeons or obsessions with beauty...which actually made this silicon lips era? @_@ Maybelline's lip gloss & Bed Head's lipsticks are fine!


Why would they want thick big lips anyways?? It baffles me. If I was given a free & paid for silicon lips surgery, I'd prefer Maggi =D AYAM FLAVOUR!!!! nyum nyum...uh oh. now I'm craving.


OHHH NOOOOO COURTNEY LOVE!!!!! T_T She was fine without the fake lips, she already had that pouty & full lips...


Okay. Surgery was supposed to make someone look better; like the iconic Norma Jean@Marilyn Monroe did. It did wonders for her & so many others. Botox, I can cope, but this is just seriously the oddest trend ever. Waaaarrrgghhhh!!!! This isn't flattering at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Didn't anybody tell them that???? Ok ok...who am I to question when they wanna go under the knife right, it's their choice. But but but but this is.....attractive in a different way. It sure attracts attention in definitely the WRONG way.


This..............................................is disturbing @_@



Dude, you look like a DUDE. I am so glad that this insane trend isn't conquering where I live. It would be weird looking at people around me that has these kinda lips. Let alone people I know TT________TT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *nightmare*


I'M OUT OF WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Appreciating & accepting yourself is very important isn't it?

i like to explain every single thing bit by bit especially if it has something to do with my blog, from its name to my post's date's font's color

i made changes. =D gee, that was so not obvious wasn't it?





raaawwwwkkk....!!!!

Monday, April 13, 2009

dude, do not shake the bottle. seriously.

being nice really just gives u issues huh? woookay.

u know how my post usually starts with stuff like,



"Im feeling kind of............"

"It's just so sad................"

"Im so angry that............."

"Im stressed out......."

"Syam is so hot........"




oops.



that last sentence.....probably was the first time i write it here =D

couldn't resist LMAO!!




nakal! :P *distracted for a good 10 minutes*







ERHEM.


i think i've mentioned it before too, when trying to not be a pain in someone's ass, it brings pain into ur own ass. T_T aye, sad but true. that seems to be like a theme for my life. im cursed. for a whole lifetime.

i have like a trivial & complicated issue with a certain someone whom i do not wanna mention. i wanna forget the whole thing, we're supposed to be close, heck, we're flesh & blood. but, that person dissapointed & hurt me so badly, i couldn't even talk it out with him/her. *i wanna keep this person anonymous.*

i've wrote about this person before in my previous posts. and i kept how i felt & my thoughts to myself as it feels disgusting even on my tounge to talk about it. I REALLY CAN'T! that indifferent face & nonchalant behaviour really from him/her puts me down. that person knew what he/she had done to me but it seems like he/she doesn't care.

seeing as how talking won't get anywhere anyways, i tried to swallow everything & forget about it. but when something so strong is bottled up in u, it is bound to leak its way out of ur heart. i am human nonetheless. i do have feelings.

so, that person went & did some things that really2 pisses me off & those kept emotions of mine arised. if it hasn't anything to do with what happened in the past, its okay. the thing is, it HAS something to do with it. undoubtedly, i guess that person really does not understand what im going thru. =(

penat. really penat with this. im tired of compromising. with me refusing to not come clean with u, im doing u one BIG FAT FAVOUR. im sparing u the guilt that u should've felt due to ur own actions. im burdening my own self carrying this heavy bottle containing of ur wrong doings to me, so shouldn't it be like a silent mutual thing? u r the MATURE ONE.

so dude...................do not shake the bottle. seriously.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

=P








*otak memberontak. dia enggan tidur*

astaga!!!! i have an exam tomorow!!!!! @.@

& here i am, in front of my laptop :D

tomorrow's the takaful exam, &....well....erm....i've only memorized the table of content T_T

after meeting up with my bestie amesz, i promised myself that i would definitely read the book.

but.....

QUENTIN TARENTINO'S BACK-TO-BACK MOVIES ARE PLAYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how can i resist maaaaan....i love his movies @.@

uhuh im so bad ;P

erhem!

i feel like this week has been quite a rollercoaster ride...most of it going down..my mind's just blank most of the time~ like im experiencing burnout coz of staying at home too much T_T guess that's explains me no being able to study? :D *alasan*

but reaaaaallyyyy!!! i don't even have anything interesting to write, tp...mau blog juga >(

oh yeah, i just have this teeny explaination to make! if ur hearing black-metalish or darth vader's voice when opening my blog, i am not spreading evil nor is Mr Darth Vader trying to communicate to u..it's...my songlist T______T in case ur curious, Tala Tala Tala Tala consist of:


~Dope Crunk by Beats Antique~

~Elastic Eye by The Chemical Brothers~

~Shake Break Bounce by The Chemical Brothers~

~Slow Spines by Chris Clark (this could be the one sounding like Darth Vader)~

~Digital Monkey by Balkan Beat Box~

~Snakecharmer by Bassnectar~



^___________________________________________^



I HEART THESE SONGS!

wallflower, out! =)

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Takziah

To my Aunt, my dad's first cousin, whom unfortunately I did not spend much time with, who passed away on the 7th of April. You are dearly missed, & you won't be forgotten. Al-fatihah.













Unsaid words, what you wish could have done, the true intentions in the deepest depth of your heart.....i wish.............how i wish.........

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Don't need distractions at the moment!

ahh. here i go again. focused one second, forgets everything the next. NO! i will not think about what people will think but to do whatever i want & whatever makes me happy. i gotta constantly remind myself this little fact here every single day. & my so-called renewed resolution, I'M WORKING ON THAT! so i can't loose myself, gotta be focused before i get in too deep. eerrrmm a lil note btw, this is probably something that only i can understand...right? eheh. ooops. erm. i don't intend to elaborate much anyways. i need my bestie amesz. amyyyy... *muka sepusin*

it's just that, i hate it when I'm not the one in control of myself. but its these.......misleading things that are taking the best of me. tidak mahu.

between yes, no, & maybe, i have an absolute answer now. its NO. i don't mind watching the sunset on my own. hehe merry happy, kate nash!

&, i don't need to think about pleasing anyone now either. other than my VIPs :D :D :D :D u know who u r =)

i actually feel a little better, despite a vague & unclear post :P

a lesson for all teachers >:D

jan jahat sama budak2. dgr cakap drg (^^)




matai ko. miahahahahahahahha

Flight of the Conchords - JENNY

ahahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahhaahhaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Monday, April 6, 2009

hari yang paling random

good evening :D

ini post ni semua pasal saya. brace urself, its LONG ahahahha...haa...ahahh *ketawa angin*

i don't know how my interview went!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the anxiety still hits me even when everything was over...hmm i dunno if that was like a real interview or anything, they still have to refer to this one dude..well, at least, i smelled good & i put on my best bila-jumpa-mama-mentua smile. up to them la suda tu kan? :D :D :D

ok, this might sound psychologically off, but when im alone & taking the bus or walking, my train of thought is so intense i feel like my brain & me are two different entities. do i....need a shrink? haha! from the days of my diploma, when traveling to get my ass to the airport, excursions, on a bus from ktn to kl & back, on the plane itself, dammit, I FRIGGIN' THINK A LOT!!!!!!!!! at times it can be soothing, at times the skeletons in my closet comes out on its own. they would mock me >.<>

first mishap of the day, lambat bangun. ^______^ eheh. fuuh. nsb baik miss irene pun busy time pagi. whew~ then i walked out of my room, my lil bro was eating maggi, & could still hear my big bro's snores. oh lookie, my mom is still here too. okay. @_@ both of my brothers ponteng school!!! kaliff nda pigi kelas! @_____@ & mama nda pegi office..she's just gonna go to teach =D hahh..cumilnya family ku ^____^

k, my mom sent me to my dad's office. the company was just in front of his anyways, so dgn selambanya masuk p office dia & said

"haaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiii papaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

nden, he said,

"bukan the tourism division tu d sadong jaya ka?"

erm. wait. inoprise is....d depan office papa la kan? i was in likas. sadong jaya = kk

TTT__________________________TTT

"eheh...buli papa...hantar hannah p kk? :D" ngahahahhah

"ya ya papa hantar, cepat" :P lalalalaaa...


& so i got there, did the interview, & went to get the best roti sardine in the whole world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D forgotla nama restaurant tu, but i went there last time & ordered tu roti sardine la, haihh...pnya nyaman...ohh & i saw my old schoolmate. junior la. mau tegur...but he was so proud of his girlfriend *sigh* & he made a face that stated "im the man" ???????? bah. aku makan la dlu ah. while watching men in their underpants. literally hahaha!! tv 2 was interviewing former Mr. Kuching 1989 & he was eating 10 boiled eggs @_@ muak eh. yeckhh.

it stopped raining, & so i guess i'll walk from sadong to karamunsing's bustop (-_-") i didnt wana wait up on my parents, & it was still early so i decided to go home on my own. its far, but i just didn't wanna wait.

so, my scatterbrained thoughts started, as usual. i just wanna think about everything surrounding me & comment it in my own head. as i was thinking & thinking & thinking some more, i was already near the bustop. hooray! :D i was actually near the wide green vass that i just usually passed inside of a car. it was kinda nice :D it wasn't as far as i thought too!!!

so, all i had to do now was cross the road...so...


"AMOOOOOIIIII!!!! INI ORG KIRIM SALAM BA MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!"



wtf....

*cars honking*

KIMAK!!!!!!!!!! tidak lucu tu T_T aku...hmpir kena langgar sbb kau mau ckp kwn ko kirim slam. meh aku silambam dulu kau.


but my mood quickly changed! i was passing under a jalan tingkat2 *nda tau cmna mau explain* pnya smat @_@ i will bring naha there one day for ammature photography sessions ;P

so i finally got to the bustop. :D whew. no more weird encounters i hope. so i was just daydreaming & thinking while waiting, then a pacik tegur me "nak, mana kau mo pigi ni?" i told him, & he asked where i was from, bangsa apa, jawab ja la. didn't look like a harmful person so i just talked to him. then he said "blah blah pacik aziz blah blah blah" the rest was kinda incomprehendable...so i just nodded la. entah apa dia bilang.

nden, smpai la my bus kan. so i walked to get my butt in there, nden this pacik (aziz, i guess) was suddenly standing up & said "ini bagi dia duduk ini, ko kasi dia duduk saya kenal ini" ? hah? oh...ok, thanks i guess but i could stand. im no whiner. nden the bus conductor talked to him. pointed to me & said "mari cni saudara pacik aziz!" ??????? what? apa? kah? ok. aku. naik. saja. lah. the pacik was talking to the bus driver. what's going on here?

gerak la suda bas tu kan. but i was still confused with what just happened. oh well. so, i took out my tambang, pointing to the bus conductor, giving it to him. & he refused it with a tiny head shake. ?????????????????? aik. kenapa? multiple times, i pointed it to him, but he didnt seem to want it. ???????????????????????? c'moooooooooooooooooooon let me pay like everyone else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im not priviliged with anything here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nden, the pacik came into my head. @_@ *gasp* mafia ka pacik td tu? erm. im just gonna put on my iPod.

so, i arrived home. i tried to pay for my ride, but all the bus dude said was "Jalan ja la" TT____________________TT hahh. ok.

it's still a long way till i actually get my butt home. i have to walk about, half a mile? maybe? kinda far but i like the view especially when its rainy. the clouds get all dramatic & smoky. iim gonna kidnap my dad's cam one of these days & take them cloud picts!!!! heheheheheh...best baaa..mau2 lg kalau curi2 naik tangki air dekat guardhouse tu. wahh.

suddenly, my feet feels kinda sore. they hurt!! my ankles was killing me! staga. teda pun aku terseliuh td!! kenapa sakit niiiiiii...duinah mcm2 la ba. then, i looked down to my feet.

yes. of course. the whole point of me being out of the house was to attend an interview.

OF COURSE I HAVE 3 INCH HEELS ON.

(-________________________________________-")

i....wasn't aware of that. i should've just waited for my parents shouldn't I? LMAO

itulah...that was my day...from my eyes, my views, my perspective...where I could reminisce about it one day & laugh, frown maybe, & unable to explain why :D just one of those days that are both senseless & significant at the same time. boy. i talk a lot don't i?

hahh..mcm dpt spek baru

ni baru nyaman mata ku!! nnt2la bebackground yg cumil2...serabut ni ba :D

hooraaahhh tomorow's my interview with inorprise :D :D :D :D :D :D i dont wanna jinx myself so i'll just shut up bout dis untill its all done ;P

wokehh..today, i went out with my lil bro ami!! =) my darling lil bro...here's the thing...usually, lil brothers are clingy to their elder siblings right? and when u go out, they wanna follow too...watever u wanna do, they are just up in your face and wanting to tag along with u.

but wit me & that cute lil bro of mine, its the whole opposite thing MIAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!

im the clingy one (^^,) hehehehehehe seriously~ i pretty much do everything he does from playing the PS 2, reading manga, and occasionally (& i mean, jarang2) watch football..LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....tho i look like an idiot when i do so he doesn't really recommend that i watch football hehehe

so today, as if i don't embarrass myself enough, being the immature & childish one, i discovered that...he....is....knowledgable than me....



(-_____________________________________________________-")



nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! hahahahaha

konon la kan....konon....i brought him out to study, he's having PMR this year and it's hard to study at home, i know that, & so i wanted to tutor him a bit, sit down somewhere and stuff..we were reading & answering questions, he did it all without me doing anything T____T he even knew things that weren't in his text book TT_______________TT he corrected me most of the time......

bolehkah aku menangis?

gila lah. bangga la juga :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

but seriously duuuude that made me feel like a bimbo...BIG TIME >.<

oh well hahahahaha...cant help being who i am...dia pun sama :D :D :D :D










thoughts for today: those old wounds never really healed. im aware of that. hmmm najib the new PM eh? are we in good hands people? i have a baaaaaaaad vibe bout dis.......next post!!!

Friday, April 3, 2009

a bad coloured rainbow hahaha

hehahaaaa. i did some changes to my blog but the colours are still......berhamburan hehehehehehe. sakit la jua mata tgk >.<


i didn't plan on writing anything specific (or useful hehee) on this post (as always) sooooooooo...wanna see my new pictures? :DDDDDDD





Before:




After:










(nope that won't do...again!)








FINAL:




wat do ya think??????? ngehh...at times, i do feel like Xena...u know...the warrior princess? i didnt at first but seriously, im hearing the theme song a lot in my head nowadays @_@ but, im really liking this new hair. its kinda like a transformation, which was what i wanted! i was getting tired of my old hair so much. (do i sound self-centered? :P)





3 comments i cannot forget:

1. "U don't look malaysian! or asian! or eroupean! u look...HANNAH!" by my mom. she meant i created a new race. bangsa hannah. i looked so different i created a new race hehehehehe i love my mom ^___^ course, moms always say nice things bout their kids, so im still on earth ;)

2. "Hannaaaaaaaaah u look nice!" by my lil bro. that's the first time he said that =)

3. "My, siapa kawan ko ni? dari hari tu lagi aku nampak" my best friend amy's mom. we've known each other for the past 11 years. that's about the same time i've known her mom too :D :D :D :D :D :D





no 1 & 3 cracks me up to tears ^______________________^ while no 2, gave me tears for a different reason =))


well, that's it for now. i have tons of things to write but i'll save that for another time. my back ache is IMPOSSIBLE!!! i guess i have been sitting here a bit too long....ehehh..

id like to say thank u to those new people who visited my blog! do feel free to leave any comment or say something at the chat box =)

bye bye now!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

is it too late for a resolution?

hello wello =D hunnah wunnah says hiya wiyaaaaaaa


*ish, lame.*


I, siti raihannah binti mohammad, is a VEGETABLE. i haven't been doing anything good for the people around me, neither do i have done anything for myself. ^____^ ehehehehe~ whoops.


rewind for a little bit, my new years resolution was to change my vulnerable self. i didnt wanna be stepped on, taken advantage of, it was just that minor thing. i didnt wanna be lied to la by a certain someone; but it was just that. & i figured, that isn't enough to last me for the rest of the year.


i wanna work hard. i wanna be smarter. i wanna be able to not depend on others, including my own happiness. my happiness belongs to me right now, there aint a lot of it to share around, so i guess it's time that i refill these pockets of mine. kan? it isnt anyone's fault (but mine?) that i am just one clueless airhead that doesnt know anything. that is what i shoud've change a looong time ago. maybe im pushing myself but, right now it's better than not doing anything at all.


by the way, im tired of being depressed & angry all the time. angst = teenager. not for 20 year-olds anymore. the only person who could get rid of all this is me. or else i wont grow (hahh..not the first time i heard this!! :D)


oh weeeeeell....so therefore, i will turn myself from this,




to this,






jessica rabbit...


ahahahahhahahahaahhah :P :P :P :P


gotta love her :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD