ergh mental block

now im pretty sure...im surely sure....

that there was something dat i wanted to write so badly it made my face grow a pimple

*apakaaaaaaa? astaga*

it feels like there's a bata inside me head...berat!!!

dammit...apa baitu...

My Fav Phrases

now, now
wat im gonna do iiiiiiss
u noe how wen under some situation u wanna say something but u cant coz u cant find the words?

*..........duh?*

let me be of assistance =D

courtesy of my bestest buds & my loved ones hehe
enjoy! =)

1. Pukimak Anjing (Amesz) : dis is most syeeyuk wen someone took ur parking spot dat u've been waiting for 10 minutes, curi jalan, talking about u in LOUD whispers, buat lawak yg tersgt la lawak smpai mau muntah ketawa, & ur phone accidently tejatuh. it just makes the spur of the moment more........spurry?
2. Kimak (ni semuala...k :P) : its different from the first one. dis is just KIMAK & no anjing involved. dis is when someone's so annoying its REALLY REALLY getting on ur nerves, or u found out about something dat u weren't exactly fond of. for example, lecturer buat surprise quiz. u havn't studied yet. thus, KIMAK...or, saying it grungingly in a joking way wen ur friends make fun of u xD hehe. dis is used in general & MOST COMMON among my friends. setiap ayat mesti ada ni!
3. OK, Bye! (Sue, Yuq, Amesz) : lets say u said sumthing so silly sampai tahap teda2 & telari topik. say these magic words, "OK, Bye!" & all ur humiliating barging-into-topics-u-dont-know-till-u-say-something-stupid moment will all go away & be forgotten in seconds!
4. Kin Paanas! (Raef) : since he says it the most, & he makes it memorable wen he says it, dis belongs to raef. first, a bit of tutorial. wen u say dis, widdened ur mouth to an accurate 7 inches to say "kin" for effectiveness in sound & eccentuate the "paa" till u feel a slight pain in ur throat, then finish it wit "nas". u can say dis wenever u like =D
5. Ya Ba Kan (Ami, lil bro) : wen ur playing Mo Siang Online, or browsing ur crush's friendster profile, & then u hav a crazy big sister who just wont stop yapping & talking her butt off, dis is really useful! just say dis numerously & eventually she'll stop talking after realizing u weren't exactly listening. yeaaah, life goes on. she'll get over it xD
6. Anu (Papa) : we always try to giv advice wenever we feel like we need to. parents indeed hav the biggest responsibility in doing so. but wen suddenly ur got lazy, ur words of wisdom & intelligence were at lost (or it wasnt exactly 'there' in the first place), just replace it "anu" and all is good. like dis, "the world now is........anu........" =) well, its hard for kids to listen to their parents' lectures anyway!
7. Helew~ (Amesz) : ur cute, ur adorable, & ur saying hello xD do put on a teletubby accent wen saying dis!!
8. Teunggat-unggat (Mama) : my fav brunei word! dis is basically to describe or becerita about something not so funny then BOOM! TEUNGGAT-UNGGAT!!!! gets me everytime LOL ehehhehe

ahahhaha! ehehehhee! huhuhuhuuh! ni blum siap lg ni...my fav phrases part 2...~ nanti!

to compromise or sacrifice

how far does a person can or supposed to go in compromising or sacrificing something?
what is it that can or cannot be involved in these matters?
where are the lines of these noble acts to do somewhat a good deed; to maintain things as well as they are?
& when is enough actually enough?

friends? family? long time associate? acquaintance? neighbor? lover?

is it different for every one of them?
when u care for a person u would do anything.
but what if it starts to feel like a responsibility?
that's acceptable.
a burden?
moreover...
it made u angry? hurt? cry?
yup...

or hurt others?

when u compromise, its an agreement of both sides.
its a give & take thing.
a problem comes between the two, & u come up with a solution thus compromising.
it can be as loud as a legal contract or silent as a mutual understanding.
but it takes the two to actually understand what the other needs.
what if one is to compromise to a situation but the other doesn't realize it,
nor sees the costs & effects of that so-called compromise will cause?

can u live ur whole life just swallowing something hard for the benefit of others & urself?

what if it starts to benefit others....only?
what if it there was no benefit at all?
is that an act of unconditional love? compassionate concern? overwhelming security?
swallowing & swallowing till u eventually get mentally obesse. & explode.

simple la.
its a choice, regardless of anything.
u wanna commit to something & ur mind has made up, the rest that comes along won't matter much.
& if ur feeling like ur forced into something, get out.
compromise & being dictated are two very different things.

u can care for a person but dont la be ignorant of things that could harm u,
it could come across as bullying.
but to be paranoid of being stepped on 24/7 would just make u moron. period.

so yeah. im an idiot.

im an idiot & im confused. thank u very much.

this hurts

"they have been asking about u. its ok now. i think the war is over"

"im sorry to say this, i hope ur not angry, but xxNx misses u"

"janganla. biarla."

"i dont think so. i dont know. Nxxx nda nampak macam tu"

"Nxxx NDA NAMPAK"

"what is wrong with you?!"

"im sorry bah!"

"u said maybe u did something to Gxxxx kan?"

"hannah ba yang ..........."

"......................................................................................................"

the one that hurts the most
is the last dialogue u gave..........which was SILENCE.

this'll haunt me for a while. its sad coz u dont even realize it. & im used to not speaking up to u. u kinda didnt let me.

in the end its not wat they did to me, its if u cared enough or not.

r u kidding me?

exam's on 29 oct

revision week's on 24 oct

& i have to be there on the 6th?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alas....

i hav...reached my limit........?




*blurryness*




i dont hav anything to say anymoooooooooooooooooooooooore!!!!!!!

darn u blog templates websites.

darn u.

ish.

I'm Still...

in front of my computer........

*ngeheheheheee*

HOORAY!

changes.....in my blog!!!

*i should celebrate, this is a BIG accomplishment*

despite it looking like an "amature", it's okayyy for me!

& how I did it really just makes me wanna punch myself

I just went to default templates in blogger itself....

*screams*

hahhh

but really,

this is distracting me from writing more

*stop stop stoooooop!!*

Have you ever planned something for someone

soooooo important to you

& you tried to do everything perfectly

but ending up sort of neglecting the actual reason (the person) why you went through that much effort?

because you were caught up with yourself & everything else

this is how I feel about my blog now

*ehehehhehehehehehhe*

but minus the agonizing guilt

& the fact that my blog isn't a person

*I'm starting to not make any sense*

I guess that's enough for now.

let me bring my unproductive self to bed

I think Mr. Sandman has already run out of sand

My eyebags look creepy

till then,

tata!

Alright Now, I Think That's Enough!

*hahhhh*

i spent the last 4 hours looking at free blog templates websites...

4 hours

4 hours

4 hours

and in between the hours I couldn't choose which layout I liked best,

browsed about 50 webites

and finally found a few that I like

and then found out that the Winzip software in this laptop

HAS EXPIRED...

so I couldn't download those that I really like

and then found some websites that already has codes

but are filled with errors

*good going hannah...I'm proud of you*

I'm not kidding when I say

I DO NOT KNOW THE KNOW-HOWS OF A BLOG!

heheheheheheheeeee

man,

I NEED A TUTOR A.S.A.P!!

*do bloggers actually have tutors before they blog or do they just have a natural talent at blogging that the technicalities (I invented this word) comes along with it?*

I can't stop lauging at myself right now....haha!

I did find this layout

I'm gonna finish my post first

ahaaak!!

goodness

I have a backache to match menstrual pain

& I think my butt expanded for 2 inches

yuuuuup the quest to make my blog cool

is going to stop........

*right...*

well, for now~ =)

ooh...what does dis button do?

its a cold afternoon here in KK, i woke up thinking it was still in the morning~ heheheheee. i had an awful dream =/ kept getting those dreams frequently now.

*weeps*

bbbbrrrrr IT'S REALLY COLD!! it had been raining heavily since 5 30 am. I could hear the wind and my cats scrambling outside the house while i was writing my 1st post.

*i stayed up. creating my blog. eheh.*

i slept at 8 am, n it was still raining. then a cousin of mine called at 10 am, still heavy raindrops. i went back to sleep thinking that i'd wake up in an hour.

right.

BUT!

1st thing's 1st

i just couldn't wait to write more on my dear blog

i want to splurge on my own thoughts & words haha!

i want to share my ideas with others

& i want to express that which i cant,

except for me to write it

but before i actually become a blog freak,

my curiosity was reverted to words like

CUSTOMIZE

SETTINGS

EDIT PROFILE

DASHBOARD

EDIT TITLE

EDIT TEMPLATE

*ooooooh*

now what are these things? what do i do with them? & i came across words like "widgets, links, subscibe".

HAHA!

im just so curious & intrigued to what other things that i can do to my blog

*happy happy joy joy*

im being a total nerd (or worse),

i know =)

im just clicking whatever it is that seems like it needs to be clicked haha!

ok, i wont pretend that i have the know-hows & shishkebabs of blogging

let me get this clarified =P i don't!

heheheee my blog might be boring for some time

before i figure out the

making-ur-blog-cool features

=D

oooh look i've added a label for my post!

till then, =)

HONEY I'M HOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEEEE!!!!!

hello.

my name is Siti Raihannah, but hannah plz :)

i am 21 biologically, mentally i'd say 30? 12? it depends really

i live in sabah, malaysia

in the sombre but blissful Viewpoint Park

I am currently still studying in Shahputra College

n welcome to my blog :)

bare with me,

its been a while since i last wrote

i only had surveys in friendster as my source of outlet (i noe hehe)

and since i have limitless (or so i think) time at home, with the internet

n with my thoughts

i thought a blog would be a gooooood idea!

*why haven't i thought of this before ahh?*

i did but i didnt think it would work

*blog, how could i have ever doubted u*

n now i couldnt be more happier!! *big smile*

hehe

err i dunno wat 2 tell u 2 expect out of my blog yet

jut more POSTS i guess? haha!

till then~ :)