blog aku ni mau kena renovate balik! it doesnt stimulate my rusty brain anymore; im back to malas-mau-update-blog-sebab-nanti-tulis-benda-teda-teda-yang-orang-tidak-akan-baca phase. tidak best. ya, the broadband went out for a while but it wouldnt make a difference. still wouldnt update :D
in a deeper note, maybe, I'M the one that's wanting a change :D in my life, myself, my mood (swing..), my facial wash (i like amy's neutrogena scrub!!) & my choice of food..yes hannah, no more lokans. even kerang is giving u an effect smpai hari ni. not an entire 180 degree of change, no! 25 kali, or just 50, so as to make me feel as comfortable as i can in my own skin. & i mean both medically & spiritually.
i dont wanna waste away, so that all i have left's my bitterness >( ho yah....i can be very very sour. everyone has problems, im sooooo not an execption; u should see my list (- -,) and if that isnt already worse, theres the occasional external noises interrupting the parade that is my life which are uncontrollable; & i wanna be prepared.
i realized that life may seem like a straight unknown road, but if i was paying enough attention, detours offer itselves once in a while if i or even anyone wants (or needs, in my case) a change. my utmost biggest fear, besides to panic at making mistakes, is knowing that i should give up; there's no hope for me at a certain situation, & ahead is just dark. see my problem? detour. definitely.
soooooooooo! im gonna change a bit of my perceptions & views again. stored up emotions arent healthy, regardless if its hatred or love; too much & u'll go blind..so u know wat happens next T_T i can only distract myself from remembering hurtful & painful things; so i need to collect sunshine here & there & put it somewhere as big as a luggage bag in case it rained :]
p.s/ i was thinking about this a lot while staying at amesz's hostel & reading new moon :D MYYYY I LOVE UR HOSTEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahaha :D inpirasi ni ba keno ;)
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