stubborn & spoiled right down to the core (whoopsie~)

MIA! MIA! MIA! MIA! MIA!!!!!!!!!!!! i was mia for quite a long time. so the woes, complaints & whining will be extra long from now on xD to cover up all those lost times of course lol xD before elaborating the numerous events that happened in my life during the time i was gone, i just couldn't get this off my chest for the moment. here goes.

i.......i...i.i.i.i.i.i.i....i......i...i..i...i....do not have all the explainations for my behaviour sometimes. i might have an idea why, at times, but, it still does not fully justify wat i did. my outbursts, meltdowns, & temper can be...well...overwhelming.

i always wanna improve my life, & myself. if i feel that im a moron, i'd change till i dont feel like a moron. if i feel like i live the life of a moron, i'd improve watever the heck it is dats moron-ish in my life till it seems pretty ok to me. make sense? ok. now for the main course.

i come across as someone passive since forever! yes. ok. alright. mbah. buli ba. it gives an impression that anything goes for me. when actually, NO ba. so my life gets pretty bad after all this. i attracted pests. & sent out wrong impressions & wat not. so i dont wanna be like dis anymore. i dont wanna be miserable.

so im stamping my foot on the ground; i must get what i want! when i dont, IT ISNT ACCEPTABLE! i want what i want, if it isnt wat i want then i wont bother! it'll be a big NO all the way!

so yeah with that it works. it actually works & i do get my way & stuff. but....doesnt dis make me a moron? xD

haiihh...i win some but i lose some. in the midst of making things right for me, i became very2 stubborn & spoiled~ whoops~ an...accident u might say xD hehe...he...no dis isnt funny...i feel that my outbursts is the inner me trying to fight for wat i want that ive kinda lost my moral compass for a moment there. cant i get my way without all the stubborness & spoiledness?

cant think! mental block! vocab drought! bye2.