wat's "wrong" with me

hah. hahh. HAHHHHH...i wonder how it is for people to be in my shoes. mcm mau handle ni...?

i noe im not a vocal person, i dont complain a lot n i come across as sum1 hu's easygoing at times, but dat does catch up to u, u noe? people, trying to not be a pain in the ass just brings pain into UR OWN ASS.

ders a reason y i wanted 2 be away (in kuantan) for quite some time. even wen there's nothing for me there. ders a reason y occupy myself a lot wit the internet. fb, fs, n blogs...ders a reason y i listen to my iPod in full volume, ders a reason y wen i listen to my iPod, i'd lock my door & not hear anything else except my "happy" songs....DERS A REASON. wen the THINGS dat hurt & effect & disturbed me a lot comes playing in my head, dats wat i do. DATS THE ONLY THING I DO. i'd drown all the other noise till the only thing i hear is the iPod in my silly thoughts. i've been curios but my conscience brought dis bad-ass guilt dat made me feel twice the pain. so, iPod'd been my companion for sumtime. simple, kan? itu ja kan?

so...napa susah mau faham? for the moment i cant face the demons face to face yet, so leave me in my bliss solitude nden i'll be fine wen i come out. gitu ja baaaaaaaa. i cant take it wen there's "interruptions" in my "therapy". dats how I KEEP ON GOING. dats how ive kept myself SANE. okay? wen things get bad, i'd listen to my songs & im alrite. wen i feel down again, dgr la blk.

dats it ba. itu ja. ITU JA.

*sigh*

but u probably dont want to noe wat im trying to run away from kan? it'll probably add up to the misery u urself have kan? soooooooooo...

wen i cant answer the door....dont treat it like ders something WRONG wit me. coz there is. but the reason why'll hurt u as well.

just LET ME BE. dont tell me dat im ruining my telinga, biarla ba. ada juga hearing aids. dont tell me dat im being irresponsible. dont tell me dat i shudnt lock the door. dont tell me dat im stupid. dis is the most calm i can be. i could turn to alcohol but its not my style. jeeeeeeeez.




just.....................haiiiiiihhhhhhhhh