i want my candy

& i wanted lots of other things too

i expected them to fall on my hands

I HAV BEEN VERY SELFISH

wahh....im beat~

gila

i've been baking kuih raya for almost 7 hours straight!!

i rest a bit only to do somthing else wit the cookies

sitting down & putting them in containers

or drizzling the cornflake rocher wit white choco

or piping the cheese prawn cookies

xD

bahh...baikla...

u need a personal trainer

TO COOK

ataupun

p la

ambil

PILATES

YOGA

WEIGHTLIFTING

pikir msak senang?

MEH AKU CHALLENGE!

lol

*serius lg tu....budu xD*

ooooooooooh~!

another post wudnt hurt ^^

my sleeping patterns
teda pendirian~

kejap tdur pagi
kejap tdur malam
kejap nda tidur
kejap tidur 1 hari

*apainiiii.....*

hah! timing? jan la tnya! i wudnt noe~
i hav no idea wen i'll sleep & wen im sleepy nowadays
one minute im laying down, dgr ipod
the next
ZZZzzzzZZZzzZZzzzZZZzZZZzzz
& then bangun bingung2

*pkul brp suda ni?......*

hah...gitula!!

& wen i thought i was sleepy
i ended up wasting hours on bed before giving up & sambung chores,
buat kuih, tgk tv, onl9~

nasib baik palang merah
nda jua tekacau puasa =D

hari ni, nda tau laaaaaa pkul brp tdur!!!
"as i wait in vain"
LOL hahaha! dri mna ni lyric ah.....?

ooooh! or or or
"i'll be right here waiting for u..."

or or or or
"as i wait & bleed"

OR OR OR!!!
"long i wait, like a stone blah blah"

ataupu,
"wait for u, till the heaven's gone"









TTT_________TTT








*ni nama dia mau kena tmpar*








oh dear. nda lama lg p kuantan.
10th oct la latest. jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.
pjj ba ni. LAWAK BODOH!!!!

& then.....

& then.....

& then.....

OH MY GOD............

mati la aku ni~ xD

but at least adala juga highlight p sna
mau jumpa c elle d kl!!! oh oh! i wanna take my pictures!!! mau jumpa c naqwa yg gila! mau minta maap sma kak azzah!!

*errgh....cian kak azzah~ =(*

& then
erm.....
erm.....
maybe meet syam?
i do miss him =(
he did contact me again
=((((((((

*......................*

ANYWAYS!!!!
blum study apa2 lg la kan
p sna trus ambl TEST, QUIZ
GILAAAAAAAA!!!
its like there's a whole civilization of labah2
dlam kepalaku skrg....telampau....tebiar~ LOL

waarrrggghhh xsbar mau kuar wit amy & cheri
tu next planning!
& then dis sunday c suuuueee blk!!!!!!
yessshh dpt jumpa drg
& c yuq lg~
dkat rumah ja tp napaaaaaa jarang jmpa tu ah!! lucucucu
I MISS MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think im too caught wit myself a little too long =/




















jeez....im not sleepy yet???????????????????????

visual explaination

see, i hav some people in my life where they just dont see & think much of me
dat im not as significant or
dat im not capable of feeling or knowing things
beside to just laugh, eat, & joke around. make fun of myself

they just expect me to adapt to their ways & thoughts

im just someone who's visible but transparent

it doesn't make any sense but there u go

i guess every1 has felt like dis....yes?

yeah, i guess i am dat kinda person

im not serius,

i dont go around telling people how matture i am

i dont see myself as someone who's to look up to

or even showing it

& yeah, i do know wat u think of me

I DO

but even if i said something

there's dat look dat always stopped me from saying anything

or dat silent treatment where everything is just fine

& they won't wana mention about

resulting in

ur thoughts actually linger for as long as it could

so long dat it stays

permenantly

& i cant change dat anymore

what happened to the simple "dont judge a book by its cover"?

i might be a happy go lucky person

i fart, i belch, i like kitties & cartoons

but that's just a part of me

right?

im just as same as u, i wanna be understood too.

i wanna be accepted too.

i dont wana be given dat LOOK where wen i express something

ur hoping me to stop

u dont wanna listen

im just babbling

or the worse ever

u think otherwise of wat's actually coming out of my mouth. ouch, dis kills the most.

i havn't even finished talking,

& u already think dat im wrong.

gee...

judging others is good,

it could predetermine wats gonna happen between u & the person

& boleh la avoid benda2 xbesh.

but to actually make a person feel like they cant be themselves

& there's no space for them to do so

or u wont allow it is just inconsiderate.

its hard to read dis....kan?

u probably couldn't even read ol of dis cos of the font..

see, dis is simply my point...

wen u dont think much of a person like i said,

coz u see him or her as dis small,

he or she is insignificant to u,

its hard for u to know dat person.

thus, treating the person like he or she isnt worth much.

just like dis post. visually, i mean

nevertheless, its wen people disregard u

dat dis happens.

ergh mental block

now im pretty sure...im surely sure....

that there was something dat i wanted to write so badly it made my face grow a pimple

*apakaaaaaaa? astaga*

it feels like there's a bata inside me head...berat!!!

dammit...apa baitu...

My Fav Phrases

now, now
wat im gonna do iiiiiiss
u noe how wen under some situation u wanna say something but u cant coz u cant find the words?

*..........duh?*

let me be of assistance =D

courtesy of my bestest buds & my loved ones hehe
enjoy! =)

1. Pukimak Anjing (Amesz) : dis is most syeeyuk wen someone took ur parking spot dat u've been waiting for 10 minutes, curi jalan, talking about u in LOUD whispers, buat lawak yg tersgt la lawak smpai mau muntah ketawa, & ur phone accidently tejatuh. it just makes the spur of the moment more........spurry?
2. Kimak (ni semuala...k :P) : its different from the first one. dis is just KIMAK & no anjing involved. dis is when someone's so annoying its REALLY REALLY getting on ur nerves, or u found out about something dat u weren't exactly fond of. for example, lecturer buat surprise quiz. u havn't studied yet. thus, KIMAK...or, saying it grungingly in a joking way wen ur friends make fun of u xD hehe. dis is used in general & MOST COMMON among my friends. setiap ayat mesti ada ni!
3. OK, Bye! (Sue, Yuq, Amesz) : lets say u said sumthing so silly sampai tahap teda2 & telari topik. say these magic words, "OK, Bye!" & all ur humiliating barging-into-topics-u-dont-know-till-u-say-something-stupid moment will all go away & be forgotten in seconds!
4. Kin Paanas! (Raef) : since he says it the most, & he makes it memorable wen he says it, dis belongs to raef. first, a bit of tutorial. wen u say dis, widdened ur mouth to an accurate 7 inches to say "kin" for effectiveness in sound & eccentuate the "paa" till u feel a slight pain in ur throat, then finish it wit "nas". u can say dis wenever u like =D
5. Ya Ba Kan (Ami, lil bro) : wen ur playing Mo Siang Online, or browsing ur crush's friendster profile, & then u hav a crazy big sister who just wont stop yapping & talking her butt off, dis is really useful! just say dis numerously & eventually she'll stop talking after realizing u weren't exactly listening. yeaaah, life goes on. she'll get over it xD
6. Anu (Papa) : we always try to giv advice wenever we feel like we need to. parents indeed hav the biggest responsibility in doing so. but wen suddenly ur got lazy, ur words of wisdom & intelligence were at lost (or it wasnt exactly 'there' in the first place), just replace it "anu" and all is good. like dis, "the world now is........anu........" =) well, its hard for kids to listen to their parents' lectures anyway!
7. Helew~ (Amesz) : ur cute, ur adorable, & ur saying hello xD do put on a teletubby accent wen saying dis!!
8. Teunggat-unggat (Mama) : my fav brunei word! dis is basically to describe or becerita about something not so funny then BOOM! TEUNGGAT-UNGGAT!!!! gets me everytime LOL ehehhehe

ahahhaha! ehehehhee! huhuhuhuuh! ni blum siap lg ni...my fav phrases part 2...~ nanti!

to compromise or sacrifice

how far does a person can or supposed to go in compromising or sacrificing something?
what is it that can or cannot be involved in these matters?
where are the lines of these noble acts to do somewhat a good deed; to maintain things as well as they are?
& when is enough actually enough?

friends? family? long time associate? acquaintance? neighbor? lover?

is it different for every one of them?
when u care for a person u would do anything.
but what if it starts to feel like a responsibility?
that's acceptable.
a burden?
moreover...
it made u angry? hurt? cry?
yup...

or hurt others?

when u compromise, its an agreement of both sides.
its a give & take thing.
a problem comes between the two, & u come up with a solution thus compromising.
it can be as loud as a legal contract or silent as a mutual understanding.
but it takes the two to actually understand what the other needs.
what if one is to compromise to a situation but the other doesn't realize it,
nor sees the costs & effects of that so-called compromise will cause?

can u live ur whole life just swallowing something hard for the benefit of others & urself?

what if it starts to benefit others....only?
what if it there was no benefit at all?
is that an act of unconditional love? compassionate concern? overwhelming security?
swallowing & swallowing till u eventually get mentally obesse. & explode.

simple la.
its a choice, regardless of anything.
u wanna commit to something & ur mind has made up, the rest that comes along won't matter much.
& if ur feeling like ur forced into something, get out.
compromise & being dictated are two very different things.

u can care for a person but dont la be ignorant of things that could harm u,
it could come across as bullying.
but to be paranoid of being stepped on 24/7 would just make u moron. period.

so yeah. im an idiot.

im an idiot & im confused. thank u very much.

this hurts

"they have been asking about u. its ok now. i think the war is over"

"im sorry to say this, i hope ur not angry, but xxNx misses u"

"janganla. biarla."

"i dont think so. i dont know. Nxxx nda nampak macam tu"

"Nxxx NDA NAMPAK"

"what is wrong with you?!"

"im sorry bah!"

"u said maybe u did something to Gxxxx kan?"

"hannah ba yang ..........."

"......................................................................................................"

the one that hurts the most
is the last dialogue u gave..........which was SILENCE.

this'll haunt me for a while. its sad coz u dont even realize it. & im used to not speaking up to u. u kinda didnt let me.

in the end its not wat they did to me, its if u cared enough or not.

r u kidding me?

exam's on 29 oct

revision week's on 24 oct

& i have to be there on the 6th?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alas....

i hav...reached my limit........?




*blurryness*




i dont hav anything to say anymoooooooooooooooooooooooore!!!!!!!

darn u blog templates websites.

darn u.

ish.

I'm Still...

in front of my computer........

*ngeheheheheee*

HOORAY!

changes.....in my blog!!!

*i should celebrate, this is a BIG accomplishment*

despite it looking like an "amature", it's okayyy for me!

& how I did it really just makes me wanna punch myself

I just went to default templates in blogger itself....

*screams*

hahhh

but really,

this is distracting me from writing more

*stop stop stoooooop!!*

Have you ever planned something for someone

soooooo important to you

& you tried to do everything perfectly

but ending up sort of neglecting the actual reason (the person) why you went through that much effort?

because you were caught up with yourself & everything else

this is how I feel about my blog now

*ehehehhehehehehehhe*

but minus the agonizing guilt

& the fact that my blog isn't a person

*I'm starting to not make any sense*

I guess that's enough for now.

let me bring my unproductive self to bed

I think Mr. Sandman has already run out of sand

My eyebags look creepy

till then,

tata!

Alright Now, I Think That's Enough!

*hahhhh*

i spent the last 4 hours looking at free blog templates websites...

4 hours

4 hours

4 hours

and in between the hours I couldn't choose which layout I liked best,

browsed about 50 webites

and finally found a few that I like

and then found out that the Winzip software in this laptop

HAS EXPIRED...

so I couldn't download those that I really like

and then found some websites that already has codes

but are filled with errors

*good going hannah...I'm proud of you*

I'm not kidding when I say

I DO NOT KNOW THE KNOW-HOWS OF A BLOG!

heheheheheheheeeee

man,

I NEED A TUTOR A.S.A.P!!

*do bloggers actually have tutors before they blog or do they just have a natural talent at blogging that the technicalities (I invented this word) comes along with it?*

I can't stop lauging at myself right now....haha!

I did find this layout

I'm gonna finish my post first

ahaaak!!

goodness

I have a backache to match menstrual pain

& I think my butt expanded for 2 inches

yuuuuup the quest to make my blog cool

is going to stop........

*right...*

well, for now~ =)

ooh...what does dis button do?

its a cold afternoon here in KK, i woke up thinking it was still in the morning~ heheheheee. i had an awful dream =/ kept getting those dreams frequently now.

*weeps*

bbbbrrrrr IT'S REALLY COLD!! it had been raining heavily since 5 30 am. I could hear the wind and my cats scrambling outside the house while i was writing my 1st post.

*i stayed up. creating my blog. eheh.*

i slept at 8 am, n it was still raining. then a cousin of mine called at 10 am, still heavy raindrops. i went back to sleep thinking that i'd wake up in an hour.

right.

BUT!

1st thing's 1st

i just couldn't wait to write more on my dear blog

i want to splurge on my own thoughts & words haha!

i want to share my ideas with others

& i want to express that which i cant,

except for me to write it

but before i actually become a blog freak,

my curiosity was reverted to words like

CUSTOMIZE

SETTINGS

EDIT PROFILE

DASHBOARD

EDIT TITLE

EDIT TEMPLATE

*ooooooh*

now what are these things? what do i do with them? & i came across words like "widgets, links, subscibe".

HAHA!

im just so curious & intrigued to what other things that i can do to my blog

*happy happy joy joy*

im being a total nerd (or worse),

i know =)

im just clicking whatever it is that seems like it needs to be clicked haha!

ok, i wont pretend that i have the know-hows & shishkebabs of blogging

let me get this clarified =P i don't!

heheheee my blog might be boring for some time

before i figure out the

making-ur-blog-cool features

=D

oooh look i've added a label for my post!

till then, =)

HONEY I'M HOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEEEE!!!!!

hello.

my name is Siti Raihannah, but hannah plz :)

i am 21 biologically, mentally i'd say 30? 12? it depends really

i live in sabah, malaysia

in the sombre but blissful Viewpoint Park

I am currently still studying in Shahputra College

n welcome to my blog :)

bare with me,

its been a while since i last wrote

i only had surveys in friendster as my source of outlet (i noe hehe)

and since i have limitless (or so i think) time at home, with the internet

n with my thoughts

i thought a blog would be a gooooood idea!

*why haven't i thought of this before ahh?*

i did but i didnt think it would work

*blog, how could i have ever doubted u*

n now i couldnt be more happier!! *big smile*

hehe

err i dunno wat 2 tell u 2 expect out of my blog yet

jut more POSTS i guess? haha!

till then~ :)