this familiar dead-end feeling is kinda soothing~~~~~~

nothing compares to home ^^ yup, dat getaway gave me what i needed...& opened my eyes to something i should've seen sooner, but oh well...now i know better right? u don't expect a loved one stepping on u...but sometimes they do~

one thing's sure got me excited..i'm no longer tangled in a state of confusion by a big baby...tho the word DARLING will haunt me forever. damn. BUT!!!! IT'S ALL OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so im reunited with my true love (the internet) and back with my best friend (the refridgerator) and reconciled with my nemesis (the laundry) hehe...it's back to day dreaming and chasing cars...cloud nine...blurry.. ;)

tho one thing bothered me, i didnt accomplish one thing while on my holiday...

MR ENKI

u. me. kuantan. next time. be there.

*back to blurry mode*

hmmmmm...lemme enjoy this for a while.....hehe......i'll pour the rest of my words next time...oh HOOMMMEEEEYYY!!!!!

<-------- im a shy one... *nosebleed*

in life u have to be adventurous, sometimes u have to put a pervert in ur blog. yes. let's change the world.






I AM SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i nearly coughed up some really massive phlegm to the dear old tan sri who was handing out the scroll at my convo just now...to really hide that fugly coughing face from being caught in picture & that picture will be hung on my wall for the rest of my life, i did this :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

hehehehhehehehhehehehehehehehehehheehhehehehehehhehehheheeheheheh

it was all good, i did not puke or coughed while on staged as i feard, & that smile was a saver =D even the tan sri seemed happy that i was smiling like a retard...if he knew the reason behind it, he would probably be so thankful, coz if not he'd be puking his dinner tonight. whew. parak oh sore throat. kimarks.

now that im with family again, my head's back to normal. im so close to feeling normal. yayy. wait till i get home. my VIPs, u noe hu u r, jgn malu2, to all the slim shady, plz stand up...plz stand up....plz stand up....hehe...lawak babi demam campak ka apa ni kimaaaaak....

CANT WAIT TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im done holidaying...hooraaahh hoorraaaahh hoorrraaahhh hoorrraaaahhhh~~~~~~~~~~~~

the great escape =P

As a drifting waste sailing on the river banks,
I follow what may,
Destination nor desire,
I have none
Purpose,
Life,
What keeps me going,
Is only my on-going breath
My heart
Till it stops.

i need to get outta here for a while before i lose my mind. 22nd may. OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AIYOOO!!! ahahahahahaha..hahahaa..ha..ha..ha...?? apaini????

i have an ass cramp for the first time in my life.

oh the agony T_T

my tushie keeps "expanding" more & more due to excessive tribal bellydancing! so i stopped, then for not more than 1 week, i have been punished T_T OW~....i guess there's no turning back now *sobs*

baah bah baaahhh ya la ya la ya laaaaaa *tears while belly-flopping*

freedom. in a cage.

gahh. im lost. confused. don't know what to do. don't know where i'm heading. & i don't really have the right people to guide me here. hellooooooooooo...mak ai.

i need to be given advices at times, not the one to give them all the time. i need the one to be listened to, not the one that has to listen. WAIT! i am not seeking for attention nor am i one selfish bitch, i'm just asking for some slack. you know. lemme breath for a while. whoo.

i wanna be able to ask a question and people to answer me truthfully. not based on their own importance. such as, should i go to danum? yes, coz ur mopping 'round the house, u look miserable. instead of, no *miserable face* adeh.

if i'm not allowed to do what i want, then when will i be able to? aren't my despair *sorry, feeling a lil vocabularic" a thing to pay attention to before they turn to regrets & i'll never forgive you for that...like, EVER? justice...I NEED JUSTICE!!!!!!!!

i've changed. I'VE CHANGED. i've always been a person who doesn't like to be tied down, like waaaaaaaay down, that i can literally taste the grass, and right now, that has evolved i guess. i do NOT want to belong to anybody. repeat, ANYBODY. i am sooooooo a husband to a certain person right now. gila eh.

i have things that i want. & to be understood of the things that i want. im running out of time here. there's things that i wanna achieve. things i wanna do. things i dream of. lemme emphasize, dream. just cause you were robbed of yours, doesn't mean that it has to be the same for me =(

so i'm just gonna sit here & watch people surpass me? jeez. okay, hannah the fat, silly, funny, laughs at herself a lot, does have pride & ego ok. HUGE ones. some just don't realize. even worse, *waaarrghh* i do not wanna say the "c" word.

so, how long am i gonna stay here? i have to say that this is not a bad place; sheltered, protected, secured, carefree....blah blah blah. wanna know what happens if i try to get out? i get FED. i was fed so much till i can't move. seriously. if u think a little bit deeper, i think you'd know what i mean, its "bribery". or however you see it. i just...*sigh* aduuuuuuuyay.

you can't be happy when these thoughts still come to your mind. you can't be at peace when you haven't felt that self-satisfaction yet. my desires, my passion....bila? when? you CAN'T feel freedom in cage. that's BULLSHIT.

I speak in cryptic words :D :D :D :D :D :D

I tend to express the opposite of what I actually feel by justifying it with something artificial & forced. So as to compensate & overtake the emotion that I was actually feeling. Only occasionally that I really say what I wanna say.

I know, been listening to My Chemical Romance.






>______________________<

is happiness a choice?

WAARRRGGHHH!!! KENAPA?????? kenapa....KENAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

card reader ku...entah kemana...how am i gonna show off my pictures? not that they're that good anyways...but just..just..just...just...how am i gonna show off to the world of my happy little life filled with perfectness & joy & contentment & peace & happiness & smiley faces & laughter & ...

wokay. baik nda pa la kan. bagus la tu kan aku nda dapat upload picts.

ngarut mu hannah.

bye.

L.O.V.E.

It's better to feel many types of sadness then coming to a home that's EMPTY. =) My family ROOOCCCCCKKKKKSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/

who am i kidding =)

bah. hannah. if u can't & won't let urself pour out anything, then dammit stop wasting ur damn time!!!

pardon my mood swings yah. besala. xena the warrior princess. @_@

i'm not supposed to be awake right now, i have to wake up early to go jogging with my sayang2Ku at taman likas tomorow. ahh well, i'll still wake up early tomorow nonetheless, so it matters not :D

*kenapa...ayat ku...begini?*

at times, i do act HUMAN & feel that i am unable to suppress or pretend nothing is happening to me internally. there i was trying to write another ludicrous post about my silly self & trying to cheer myself up while joking & saying stuff dat'll make people laugh. hahh. like i said, who am i kidding?

aaaaaiiiiii..fil laik ai don hev tu opolojais for biying imo. it is my blog aint it.

*another symptom of mine...Paranoid*

im sure people sometimes feel like they half wanted to say something, & also not wanting to let people in & know what's bothering them, & thus they end up complaining about.......absolutely NOTHING at all. =D sorry baaaaaaaaaaah. gini la ba kerja aku kalau blogging. nda paedah2 miahahahaha.

so i can't make a funny post bout my imperfections for now & laughing hard at it & feeling relieved & believing that i am contempt. FOR NOW tho. =D =D =D =D =D

i need to just accept this for the moment & not let anything spoil it. i think im gonna have a good sleep tonight & dream about the beautiful day i had today ^________________^

*sounds a tad too sickly & sweet for a moment there @_@*

yippee

WAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







i can't stand this. i am so not comprehended right now, i'm like a foreign language to some people. im confusing. im baffling.











WEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!











im losing my mind here. urgh.













ok i whine. BITE ME.